A broody young woman killed herself after she struggled with the fact she was unmarried and had no children by the age of 30, an inquest heard.
Hospital administrator Rachel Gow, 29, had wanted to walk up the aisle and have a family of her own but became ''troubled'' that she had not yet achieved either.
As her 30th birthday approached the self confessed ''dizzy blonde'' she said felt other members of her family were ''doing better than her.''
Fearing her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, Miss Gow sent him a text message wishing him ''all the best for the future'' before poisoning herself with helium gas at her home.
The inquest was told Miss Gow, from Haslingden, Lancs, had been an ''outgoing, adventurous and loving’' young woman who had attained a 2:1 in History from Lancaster University before working at Royal Bolton Hospital.
In a statement read to the Burnley hearing Rachel’s brother Stephen Best and her sister Sarah Davidson said: “Rachel had been a happy child who had lots of friends, she loved to dance and play the violin.
"She was very close to her sister Sarah She was very academic and following A levels she studied at Lancaster University. She also made people laugh. She was proud to be at Lancaster and also a dizzy blonde.''
The statement added: “She had three breakups before her relationship with Anton. Her greatest wish was to settle down and get married.”
But Miss Gow's problems began in 2011 after her mother Connie a primary school teacher died from cancer aged 66 in 2011.
The statement said: "Following the death of her mother Rachel had a period of independence. She met Anton and they were both extremely happy. He moved in. They had lots in common.
"She did have three breakups before her relationship with Anton and her greatest wish was to settle down, start a relationship and get married.
''But she could not overcome her previous sadness and felt Anton would leave her. She was looking forward to turning 30, planning trips to Italy with Anton and going to go Vegas for her birthday, she was saving money every month. But the relationship became unstable and they tried to make it work.
Mr Tsvarev, an engineer, told the hearing: ” Our relationship had a lot of ups and downs due to her insecurities. This would cause a lot of problems. She constantly felt I was going to leave her but this was not the case.”
Mr Tsvarev added: “There had been nothing significant at the time except the anniversary of her mother’s death also along with her 30th birthday and mine. These were all things that troubled her. She felt she was not where she should be in life.”
He said she felt that she should be married with children and that her siblings were doing better than her.
“This was something she struggled with," he continued. "Rachel had spoken to me about the fact she had researched suicide techniques. "I was not sure how serious she was about it because she always said things in the heat of the moment.''
Tests showed Miss Gow had died from hypoxia as a result of helium inhalation.
"As I understand it she was having a slightly more positive year because of new employment. But she clearly had difficulties and at some stage she purchased the items with which she took her own life.
''It appears from her actions she did that with intent to end her life.”
In a statement Mr Tsvarev said: “Everyone is devastated by Rachel's death. It’s a tragic loss for everyone, I’m absolutely heartbroken.
“She was a fantastic person who inspired everyone around her. She was still grieving for her mum - they were very close. She really did miss her mum, she always spoke very highly of her.”
Miss Gow's sister Sarah Davidson said: “She was very popular and made friends easily. She was a kind and generous person who made other people feel at ease. She was a treasured sister and was wonderful with children.”
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