Why this Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar picture tells you everything you need to know about the Ballon d'Or

 

If ever a football picture said a 1,000 words…

In many respects, the Ballon d'Or is a bit of a nonsense. The choice of presenter is often inexplicable. The fashion decisions are reliably ridiculous. And, as one look at some of the bizarre voting reveals, the results may not be quite as definitive as some people think.
However, even if the award itself may often be an anti-climax, there is one thing about the Ballon d'Or which is uniquely awesome.
We get to see football's biggest superstars interacting in a social setting… with cameras there to capture every awkward nuance, grimace and smile through gritted teeth.
For the perfect example, look no further than the image you can see above.

 

It shows Cristiano Ronaldo shaking hands with Lionel Messi's partner Antonella Roccuzzo, while Messi and Neymar look on. Frankly, we're confident there will never be another picture which so perfectly encapsulates the dynamic between the world's three best footballers.
Why? Well, let's delve a little deeper and see what appears to be going on in the minds of each of these great men at the precise moment the camera went 'click'…

Cristiano Ronaldo

"Look, Lionel. LOOK, DAMN YOU. I have your lady by the hand. See how she smiles, Lionel? See how she clearly fancies me, Lionel?
"I'm not even going to look at you, Lionel. I'm just going to let this handshake linger and last for as long as I can without it getting weird. And you'll be left wondering, Lionel… wondering what she really thinks of Cristiano.
"You may be about to win this particular Ballon d'Or battle, Lionel. But I'm in your head, Lionel. You can't deny it!"

Lionel Messi

"Look at this chump. So smooth. So handsome. So confident.
"Look at that face. He actually thinks I'm bothered. He thinks the fact he is shaking hands with Antonella must really be getting to me. Ha!
"You know what, Ronnie? You might have women flinging themselves at your feet. You might have the six-pack, the underwear modelling and a body adored by millions.
"You know what you don't have, Ronnie? Five Ballon d'Ors… which is exactly what I'm going to have in a minute. You know it. I know it. We all know it.
"And it's killing you, isn't it? I can see it in your eyes. I almost feel sorry for you, Ronnie. Chin up, pal. Maybe you can bag the Spanish Super Cup again next season."

Neymar

"I swear to God, if you so much as look at my boy's lady again…"